Service of Love

 I've been spending most afternoons sitting at the nursing facility with my dad.  He sleeps a lot.  But even when he isn't sleeping his eyes are almost always closed.  I don't know whether or not he likes the company but those of us who sit with him do.  On Thursday he was very restless and had very painful headaches.  Thus the restlessness.  On  Friday he slept all afternoon which I was glad to see after spending Thursday seeing him in pain.  On Saturday, he was a bit restless again.

At one point he opened his eyes and I simply said, "Hi Dad."  He gave me his warm, affectionate smile.  I couldn't hold the tears from my eyes.  I could tell by that smile that he loves me.  I knew that but it was one more confirmation.  It was very bittersweet.  I loved seeing him smile at me but know that those smiles will disappear soon and I won't be able to see them once he's gone.

He will hold hands with anyone who is willing.  As I held his hand he used his thumb to caress my hand.  Yet another small thing that I know he's still in there.  I am so glad I am able to take these days to be of service to my dad.  The words are few but I am able to rub his head and back when he needs it.  On Saturday he was having pain again and I asked what I could do for him and he simply responded, "Rub my head."  So easy to do. I don't know if every little girl feels this way but I can honestly say my dad was my first love.