Half Way There

The new semester at school has begun which means that my seminary year is half over.  I think it is just the material I'm teaching at the moment, but its beginning to feel long.  Does that make sense? Some years the weeks and months flew by and the material was very interesting.  I feel like I'm trudging through this particular part of 1 Samuel.

I've been teaching since Erin was a senior in high school.  That's EIGHT years!!!  I've loved it more than I can express.  I've learned more than I can express and I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father had confidence in me that I could do this.  With that said, I'm ready to give it up.

Don't get me wrong.  I love and care about these youth more than I can say.  I pray for them and worry about them.  They are so precious and spectacular!  I'm still enthusiastic about being with them once I get there.  Its just that some lessons are really dry compared to others.  I know every single day can't be and won't be as exciting as I want it to be.  I just pray that they are able to feel the Spirit.

I wish I would have taken pictures every year I taught.  I know I have a few more but they're on the other computer.

The only thing I think about is, "What will the Lord have me do next?"  I guess the Lord qualifies those He calls.  I can bear witness of that!

Cleaning Out

After a person leaves this life, tax papers and such are required to be kept for three years. More than one year has passed for my daddy so I started going through his filing cabinet to get rid of more things. The real reason for going through the file was to make room for all of our music and piano books that were laying on Tom's closet floor and various other places around the piano.

There were a few things that I tucked away.  One was his wallet.  I've removed most everything.  I looked at his driver's license. My heart swelled with sadness of him being gone and happiness that he's my daddy.

I found a letter from a couple whom Dad employed and befriended many years ago.  She wrote the letter.  In it she expressed their love for him and how they looked to him as an example of goodness.  She says, " I've thought of all the people we have known throughout our lives, and can't think of one person that helped us and shaped our lives into who we are today more than you."  These people were not relatives but friends.  That's a legacy I can treasure.

He also received a card from one of my cousins.  She writes this memory.  "When I think of you, it's when I stayed with your family when I was 16 and Bonny was a baby.  I looked out in the back yard after supper and I saw you and Carol hugging and kissing by the remains of the stone building.  That loving image has stayed with me because I thought it was so beautiful...even as a teenager."

I felt, once again, the ache for my daddy.  It comes rarely as I know he is so much better off without being encumbered by his sick physical body.  I'm happy he can be with my mom, his sweetheart.

I've found that the pain of losing a loved one fades with time and you go on without them here.  I have not lost my spouse.  I do not know that kind of pain.  Pat's step-mother knows that pain and lives it every day since Pete's passing.  My mother-in-law recently lost the man in her life as well. All three men succumbed to cancer.  STUPID CANCER!!!!

I am so grateful for these pictures that my niece Liz took on Dad's last Saturday living outside of a hospital or nursing facility.  I was already seeing the decline but had no idea it would come on so dramatically.  Looking at this I can see how much I resemble him.

I miss you daddy.  More than missing you, I love being your daughter.  I love that you taught me what it means to be kind and generous.  Your example will remain with me always.  I am grateful for pictures that will never let your smile diminish in my mind.  You were the best daddy for me.  Thank you!