I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

When I was a teenager, Ma Hoffman had the missionaries living with her.  They had it good there as she did their cooking, laundry and cleaning.  She wouldn't take any money for rent either.  That was back in the day when each missionary paid whatever rent was in their area. 

I was at her home the day that a specific missionary got word that he was being transferred.  I don't recall his name but I know he was a larger guy.  Tall too.  Ma was maybe 5' tall.  This missionary was upset and crying because he didn't want to leave.  I suppose it was like living with your grandma when you stayed there.  I was standing in her kitchen when I saw her look up at this giant of a man and start singing, "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord, over mountain or plain or sea..."  He was still crying but I believe it was for a different reason now.  It was a powerful thing to witness.

Years ago when there was still a stake mission, I was interviewed by Gary Olsen and extended the call to be a stake missionary.  My husband was serving as a counselor in the stake presidency and I had many young children at home.  I had no idea how I could fulfill this commitment and told him that I would have to go home and pray over it.  I had never done that before.  I always accepted each calling when it was extended.  I spent the next week pondering, praying and wondering how I could possibly accept this calling.  Then I remembered that experience from years earlier.  I could hear Ma singing to me, "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord..."  When Gary called to ask what my decision was I was able to tell him that I would accept the call.  By the way, I loved that calling.

Fast forward to Sunday, February 11, 2018.  Pat and I were driving to Beaver Dam for a speaking assignment with our calling as Area Temple and Family History Consultants. I put a MoTab cd in to listen to music.  As I listened the choir began to sing,
It may not be on a mountain height or over a stormy sea,
It may not be on the battle's front, the Lord has need of me.
But if by a still, small voice he calls, to paths that I do not know,
I'll answer dear Lord, with my hand in thine, I'll go where you want me to go.

As I listened I thought how the Lord doesn't usually ask me to do things that are out of my scope.  Instead he asks me to do things that are out of my comfort zone.  He asks me to do things that will help me grow spiritually.  The KEY is the last line of that verse.  I'll go with my hand in His.  I love the imagery of that.  When I am asked to do hard things, He will take me by the hand and lead me.  With him leading, I can do all things.  I believe Nephi said something very similar in 1 Nephi 3:7.  There is nothing too difficult if I allow the Lord to help me do it.  I can do nothing of myself.  I will fail if I don't let the Lord lead me.

I now have an even greater appreciation for that hymn.  I WILL go where He wants me to go.

You're my Elder Ford

Pat and I spent a lot of time biking over the summer and fall.  I was sad when it got too cold to go out anymore.  I suggested we get some cross country skis for the winter as we have the Mountain Bay trail just across the street.  It is used as a snowmobile trail so it gets groomed.  In December Pat brought home two pairs of skis, poles and boots.  We went out a few times before the trail was groomed.  It made the going a bit tough but we really enjoyed it.  We tried to go out in new snow but that just does NOT work.  It has been so bitter cold that we just haven't gone out as much as we would have liked to. 

Today was a beautiful day in the high 30's or low 40's.  I believe the trails are closed to snowmobile traffic after being open for about a week.  The last two days have melted a lot of snow and ice.  It will be cold again tomorrow just as an FYI.  Anyway, we got out on that wonderfully groomed trail and started off.  I stayed with Pat for quite a while but he just doesn't glide across the snow like I do.  He spends more time "walking" across the snow.  I finally decided to go out and begin really striding and I got ahead of Pat by a bit.  Then I stopped and waited for him to catch up.  Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Back up to Pat's mission.  He had a greenie named Elder Ford.  They were in a bike area and Elder Ford would always ride ahead, turn around and come back.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  So today Pat told me that I was his Elder Ford.  I consider that a compliment.

What Next?

Just about a month ago I received a phone call that the Meals on Wheels delivery person found Bonny unresponsive in her apartment.  I was at work so I had to get someone to cover so I could go to the hospital.  When I got there, the attending Nurse Practitioner asked me what I thought was wrong with her.  I immediately told her UTI.  They did the proper tests and confirmed my diagnosis.  I told the NP about her previous hospitalization and the broken heart syndrome.  She didn't know anything about that so I educated her.  Due to the infection, the cardiac enzymes were elevated.  Once they were rechecked, it was decided to move her to Green Bay as they continued to elevate.

As I went to her apartment to take her clothing and gather things she would need once she was released.  There were some phone calls from someone I didn't know.  Upon further exploration I found she was being scammed.  Almost all of her funds are safe in irrevocable trusts which she cannot get her hands on.  So instead she took the funds set aside for her funeral and wasted them.  Susie found that she had credit monitoring again coming out of that account.  When I was able to cancel it I found they had already taken close to $1000 over the past 10+ months.  I believe those people are also scammers.  They just happen to be legal about it. 

I spent a few days making phone calls and changing accounts to keep her trusts safe.  I was concerned about information she may have given to the phone scammer but found that my fears were unwarranted.  That Friday was my temple assignment and I decided I was not going to miss serving in the temple because my sister didn't use any common sense.

We went to the temple and served on Friday night.  On Saturday morning I had a some time by myself due to being the coordinator in the initiatory.  I was able to sit in quiet contemplation and give thanks to my Father in Heaven for his mercy and direction.  Later I was able to serve again in the initiatory and had a amazing, spiritual experience there.  I would not have wanted to miss that opportunity.

Bonny is now in a rehab facility where she is getting proper attention to her disability.  She is getting physical and occupational therapy to help her get stronger.  They informed me and her that she needs to be stronger and more steady before they will allow her to return to her own home.  I am grateful for that.  In the mean time, I am going to her place every few days to spend a little time with her cat, Piper.  She craves attention and comes out and is actually social rather than her usual hiding as soon as I come in.

Sammi and I have been to her apartment and have cleaned out the fridge, vacuumed everything, washed everything that can be washed and just cleaned up and threw out a lot of junk.  The place actually doesn't have a unpleasant odor anymore.  Now to keep that up once she gets home.

Bon and I have had some very important discussions and one thing I told her was that she needs to have some counseling to help her through the feelings she has for her children and especially her former spouse.  He was a monster to her and she needs to find a way to forgive all his nastiness.  I don't think it will be easy but it is necessary.  She has an amazing bishop who will help her through whatever he can.  I hope she will allow him to assist her.