Cleaning Out

After a person leaves this life, tax papers and such are required to be kept for three years. More than one year has passed for my daddy so I started going through his filing cabinet to get rid of more things. The real reason for going through the file was to make room for all of our music and piano books that were laying on Tom's closet floor and various other places around the piano.

There were a few things that I tucked away.  One was his wallet.  I've removed most everything.  I looked at his driver's license. My heart swelled with sadness of him being gone and happiness that he's my daddy.

I found a letter from a couple whom Dad employed and befriended many years ago.  She wrote the letter.  In it she expressed their love for him and how they looked to him as an example of goodness.  She says, " I've thought of all the people we have known throughout our lives, and can't think of one person that helped us and shaped our lives into who we are today more than you."  These people were not relatives but friends.  That's a legacy I can treasure.

He also received a card from one of my cousins.  She writes this memory.  "When I think of you, it's when I stayed with your family when I was 16 and Bonny was a baby.  I looked out in the back yard after supper and I saw you and Carol hugging and kissing by the remains of the stone building.  That loving image has stayed with me because I thought it was so beautiful...even as a teenager."

I felt, once again, the ache for my daddy.  It comes rarely as I know he is so much better off without being encumbered by his sick physical body.  I'm happy he can be with my mom, his sweetheart.

I've found that the pain of losing a loved one fades with time and you go on without them here.  I have not lost my spouse.  I do not know that kind of pain.  Pat's step-mother knows that pain and lives it every day since Pete's passing.  My mother-in-law recently lost the man in her life as well. All three men succumbed to cancer.  STUPID CANCER!!!!

I am so grateful for these pictures that my niece Liz took on Dad's last Saturday living outside of a hospital or nursing facility.  I was already seeing the decline but had no idea it would come on so dramatically.  Looking at this I can see how much I resemble him.

I miss you daddy.  More than missing you, I love being your daughter.  I love that you taught me what it means to be kind and generous.  Your example will remain with me always.  I am grateful for pictures that will never let your smile diminish in my mind.  You were the best daddy for me.  Thank you!