I'm Still in Love

I've been married to this handsome guy for 35 years.  I'm still in love with him as much as I ever was.  In fact, more than I ever was!

In a Sunday School lesson this past week our teacher said that she's been married for 22 years and people want to know her secret for a long and happy marriage.

I've pondered over this a time or two in my life.  What I've decided first and foremost is that you both have to want it.  It just doesn't happen like some random miracle.  Common goals, values and beliefs are huge.  But then so is communication.  There is no room for keeping secrets from one another.  The only secrets that are allowed are the gift kind.  I love surprising and being surprised by the gifts we've given one another.

Random acts of kindness like bringing home flowers or making a favorite meal earn good points.  Helping around the house is also a great way to keep things alive.  Nothing pleases me more than randomly doing the dishes or cleaning up.  It shows how much he loves our home and me.

Taking a crying baby, especially during the night, long enough for me to get a second wind was so appreciated when we had little ones.  Sitting down and being able to talk to one another and our children is a great way to show me he loves me.

This is the guy I want to hold hands with forever.  I want his arms around me when I've had a bad day or unpleasant news.  It is his face I love to see in the temple.  Praying and serving God together has strengthened our relationship.  We haven't had much opportunity to serve together but now we do and it has enhanced our relationship.

I always wanted a marriage like the one my parents have.  As I as well as others, watched them, you could see how much they loved one another.  I believe we have that.  Sure we tease and spar occasionally but that too keeps us from making the trivial things too important.

When I read, "Men are that they might have joy", I believe I've found that joy in my marriage.  There is no one else ever that I would rather spend eternity with than my sweetheart.  Marriage is work.  It is give and take.  It causes tears and pain at time, but that is such a small part of my experience.  The happiness far outweighs any of the difficulties we've experienced.  Here's to 35 more!

Wow!

This is probably a post for Sammi to share but I need to record it too. 

Sammi and Jeff have been dealing with infertility for several years.  I've watched the heartache as she discovers over and over that there is no pregnancy.  I fast and pray for them and add their names to the prayer roll at the temple. 

Late last year they did a procedure called IUI and it didn't work.  They opted to try IVF.  This is quite expensive and there are no guarantees that it will work.  Well, they retrieved some eggs before the end of the year and had them fertilized. 

Early this year they went to have the embryo transfer.  Sammi was hilarious as they gave her some medication to relax her and she acted very drunk. I know she would be a happy drunk.  Anyway, statistics show that with one embryo transferred there is a 51% chance of achieving pregnancy.  If two embryos are transferred it jumps to 68%.  They decided to go with the odds and transfer two in hopes of getting pregnant.

They got pregnant!  BOTH embryos took and she is now pregnant with TWINS!!!  We not only get a new daughter-in-law this year but we get three new babies added to the family.  I'm so thrilled for them!

This will surely be a memorable year for our family.  Let's just hope the news we get is the happy kind and no more illnesses or heart attacks or accidents.

Opportunities

My husband and I have been out speaking at various units throughout the state and upper peninsula of Michigan.  It has been a joy sitting at his side and sharing our thoughts. 
But, our calling is about more than going out and speaking.  We should be training stake presidencies, high councilors and stake leads.  So far, we have only one stake with a lead.  We need to do more training.  It is difficult to get all the key people in one place at the same time. 
Recently, we've received a few emails inviting us to speak at stake conference, train a ward council and more speaking opportunities.  I've also sent out some requests for training. 
I feel the work is about to pick up.  We recently sent out the monthly report with some quotes from Pres. Nelson and Elder Renlund from the rootstech conference that was recently held.  I received some great feedback from a couple of stakes as well as the mission president.  The Lord's hand is in this.  I feel it.  I see it. 
The promises made by the brethren of the quorum and the 1st presidency are so powerful.  I want those blessings in my life and that of my posterity.  So far it has been a blessing to share this calling with my sweetheart.  I look forward to more opportunities to work with him.

I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

When I was a teenager, Ma Hoffman had the missionaries living with her.  They had it good there as she did their cooking, laundry and cleaning.  She wouldn't take any money for rent either.  That was back in the day when each missionary paid whatever rent was in their area. 

I was at her home the day that a specific missionary got word that he was being transferred.  I don't recall his name but I know he was a larger guy.  Tall too.  Ma was maybe 5' tall.  This missionary was upset and crying because he didn't want to leave.  I suppose it was like living with your grandma when you stayed there.  I was standing in her kitchen when I saw her look up at this giant of a man and start singing, "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord, over mountain or plain or sea..."  He was still crying but I believe it was for a different reason now.  It was a powerful thing to witness.

Years ago when there was still a stake mission, I was interviewed by Gary Olsen and extended the call to be a stake missionary.  My husband was serving as a counselor in the stake presidency and I had many young children at home.  I had no idea how I could fulfill this commitment and told him that I would have to go home and pray over it.  I had never done that before.  I always accepted each calling when it was extended.  I spent the next week pondering, praying and wondering how I could possibly accept this calling.  Then I remembered that experience from years earlier.  I could hear Ma singing to me, "I'll go where you want me to go dear Lord..."  When Gary called to ask what my decision was I was able to tell him that I would accept the call.  By the way, I loved that calling.

Fast forward to Sunday, February 11, 2018.  Pat and I were driving to Beaver Dam for a speaking assignment with our calling as Area Temple and Family History Consultants. I put a MoTab cd in to listen to music.  As I listened the choir began to sing,
It may not be on a mountain height or over a stormy sea,
It may not be on the battle's front, the Lord has need of me.
But if by a still, small voice he calls, to paths that I do not know,
I'll answer dear Lord, with my hand in thine, I'll go where you want me to go.

As I listened I thought how the Lord doesn't usually ask me to do things that are out of my scope.  Instead he asks me to do things that are out of my comfort zone.  He asks me to do things that will help me grow spiritually.  The KEY is the last line of that verse.  I'll go with my hand in His.  I love the imagery of that.  When I am asked to do hard things, He will take me by the hand and lead me.  With him leading, I can do all things.  I believe Nephi said something very similar in 1 Nephi 3:7.  There is nothing too difficult if I allow the Lord to help me do it.  I can do nothing of myself.  I will fail if I don't let the Lord lead me.

I now have an even greater appreciation for that hymn.  I WILL go where He wants me to go.

You're my Elder Ford

Pat and I spent a lot of time biking over the summer and fall.  I was sad when it got too cold to go out anymore.  I suggested we get some cross country skis for the winter as we have the Mountain Bay trail just across the street.  It is used as a snowmobile trail so it gets groomed.  In December Pat brought home two pairs of skis, poles and boots.  We went out a few times before the trail was groomed.  It made the going a bit tough but we really enjoyed it.  We tried to go out in new snow but that just does NOT work.  It has been so bitter cold that we just haven't gone out as much as we would have liked to. 

Today was a beautiful day in the high 30's or low 40's.  I believe the trails are closed to snowmobile traffic after being open for about a week.  The last two days have melted a lot of snow and ice.  It will be cold again tomorrow just as an FYI.  Anyway, we got out on that wonderfully groomed trail and started off.  I stayed with Pat for quite a while but he just doesn't glide across the snow like I do.  He spends more time "walking" across the snow.  I finally decided to go out and begin really striding and I got ahead of Pat by a bit.  Then I stopped and waited for him to catch up.  Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Back up to Pat's mission.  He had a greenie named Elder Ford.  They were in a bike area and Elder Ford would always ride ahead, turn around and come back.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.  So today Pat told me that I was his Elder Ford.  I consider that a compliment.

What Next?

Just about a month ago I received a phone call that the Meals on Wheels delivery person found Bonny unresponsive in her apartment.  I was at work so I had to get someone to cover so I could go to the hospital.  When I got there, the attending Nurse Practitioner asked me what I thought was wrong with her.  I immediately told her UTI.  They did the proper tests and confirmed my diagnosis.  I told the NP about her previous hospitalization and the broken heart syndrome.  She didn't know anything about that so I educated her.  Due to the infection, the cardiac enzymes were elevated.  Once they were rechecked, it was decided to move her to Green Bay as they continued to elevate.

As I went to her apartment to take her clothing and gather things she would need once she was released.  There were some phone calls from someone I didn't know.  Upon further exploration I found she was being scammed.  Almost all of her funds are safe in irrevocable trusts which she cannot get her hands on.  So instead she took the funds set aside for her funeral and wasted them.  Susie found that she had credit monitoring again coming out of that account.  When I was able to cancel it I found they had already taken close to $1000 over the past 10+ months.  I believe those people are also scammers.  They just happen to be legal about it. 

I spent a few days making phone calls and changing accounts to keep her trusts safe.  I was concerned about information she may have given to the phone scammer but found that my fears were unwarranted.  That Friday was my temple assignment and I decided I was not going to miss serving in the temple because my sister didn't use any common sense.

We went to the temple and served on Friday night.  On Saturday morning I had a some time by myself due to being the coordinator in the initiatory.  I was able to sit in quiet contemplation and give thanks to my Father in Heaven for his mercy and direction.  Later I was able to serve again in the initiatory and had a amazing, spiritual experience there.  I would not have wanted to miss that opportunity.

Bonny is now in a rehab facility where she is getting proper attention to her disability.  She is getting physical and occupational therapy to help her get stronger.  They informed me and her that she needs to be stronger and more steady before they will allow her to return to her own home.  I am grateful for that.  In the mean time, I am going to her place every few days to spend a little time with her cat, Piper.  She craves attention and comes out and is actually social rather than her usual hiding as soon as I come in.

Sammi and I have been to her apartment and have cleaned out the fridge, vacuumed everything, washed everything that can be washed and just cleaned up and threw out a lot of junk.  The place actually doesn't have a unpleasant odor anymore.  Now to keep that up once she gets home.

Bon and I have had some very important discussions and one thing I told her was that she needs to have some counseling to help her through the feelings she has for her children and especially her former spouse.  He was a monster to her and she needs to find a way to forgive all his nastiness.  I don't think it will be easy but it is necessary.  She has an amazing bishop who will help her through whatever he can.  I hope she will allow him to assist her.

Anniversary Week

Our 35th wedding anniversary was on Thursday of this week.  Thirty-five years!  Where did that time go?  On Monday my sweetheart brought home a dozen yellow roses.  I LOVE yellow roses and he knows it.  What a thoughtful gesture.  I was doing the dishes on Monday night and noticed that my second-hand crock pot had a crack 2/3s of the way through it.  I love having two crock pots as I use them often and at times I use both of them.  So on Tuesday after work, my sweetie came home with a new crock pot.  I asked what this was for and he responded, "It's our anniversary week."

I was instructed not to make any dinner on Wednesday night as he was bringing home KFC.  That was our dinner the night we got married.  It's been a tradition for a couple of years to have KFC on our anniversary but since he already had plans he brought it home on Wednesday.

On Thursday, our actual anniversary, we went to work together.  I didn't do much other than wait around for him to install two water heaters that took much longer than he anticipated.  When he was finally finished, we went to see the movie Darkest Hour.  It was about Winston Churchill and set in WWII.  We sat in a theater holding hands in our recliners.  It was a really good, historical movie.  After the movie was finished we went to Olive Garden.  Our server asked us if we were celebrating anything special.  With that information, he provided us with a free dessert.  It was something with warm apples and ice cream.  So delicious!

Last night we went to a basketball game and I scored.  During the varsity game, Pat scored the opponent's book as he had no one to do it.  At least we could sit together.  Today we went to Shawano together to run some errands and tomorrow we are speaking in the Appleton 2nd ward before going to meet with their stake presidency to do some training. 

It's been a wonderful week. The temperatures were above normal for several days this week which made me happy.  Now, we're back to the deep freeze.  It's been a wonderful anniversary week!