November Happenings

There's been quite a bit to write about this month.  The biggest thing was over the weekend.  We took a fast trip to Salt Lake City, Utah to go to nephew Michael's wedding.  He and his bride, Becca are so cute together.  A beautiful wedding with plenty of rain during the photo shoot.  Therefore, I didn't stick around too long to take a lot of pictures.

He's from Wisconsin.  She's from Ohio.  They got married in Utah!

 I'm glad we went.  They look so happy.

 We got to see some family that don't live by us anymore.

 I think this is my favorite of all the photos I took.

 On Sunday we went to church with Pat's mission president.  He was kind enough to shovel off their stairs, walks and driveway.  We met a lot of new people who are somebodies.  At least name recognition.  For instance, Bonnie at the organ.

 On Saturday night we attended a concert in the Tabernacle. 

It was a concert by "Bells on Temple Square."  A little long but very entertaining.

 This November has been really cold.  The window in my east bedroom has given us quite an ice show already.

 I'm trying to go through my dad's things.  I took these picture frames and put them up in my upstairs hallway around the newly framed family tree casket insert.

 Andrew sent me a picture of he and Elder Mason.  I love getting pictures from him.

 We've had our fair share of snow already this month.  Fortunately it has melted with the rain and warmer temperatures.  It started snowing again this afternoon.

This frost sculpture was in my east window after several days of very cold temperatures.  It got better and better as the time went by.  It reminds me of some kind of etched windows one would see in the temple.  I took this in the morning with the sun coming up.  With actually seeing the sun, it melted several hours later.

 

I'm glad we got away for the weekend.  It was nice to come home and see the grass for a few hours before it got covered again.  Actually we got to go for a walk on Friday in Salt Lake City in 50 degree temperatures.  It was wonderful!!!!

 



No Sadness This Year

Twenty-one years ago yesterday my mother passed from this life when she was far too young.  I thought about her yesterday and just smiled.  No sadness this year.  She and Dad are together again which makes my heart so, so happy.  I LOVE the plan of salvation!  I LOVE the temple covenants that bound them together on earth and in heaven!

I ponder at times how blessed my life it.  I had the meanest mother out there.  She was not easy on us, except maybe for Bonny.  The rest of us remember a mother who was demanding and could deal out consequences with firmness.  I'm sure my dad knew a different side of her as he adored her to the ends of the earth.  I was blessed with the kindest, most generous daddy anyone could ask for.  Somehow, they balanced one another. 

At any rate, I came to know a different side of my mother as an adult and more especially when I became a mother.  She had so much wisdom.  She helped me with so much emotionally, spiritually, financially and in just being a kinder, more patient mom.  Isn't that something?  She was hard on us and yet she wanted me to be more gentle in dealing with my own children.  I guess because those children were her grandbabies.  She LOVED being Nana to the grandchildren and they adored her. 

At times I have looked on my nieces, nephews and children as well as the next generation and thought about what my mom would say about them.  I can hear her comments.  She would comment how Cami is so smart and Adam's sensitivity and imagination.  She would have loved Andrew's imagination when he was a little boy.  She would love the spunk in Arianna.  I think she would comment about chunky little Dax.  She would love that Evie would have a conversation with her.  She would be so proud of her grandchildren who served missions.  She would pray for those who are straying or having a difficult time.  In fact, she probably does pray for and comment on all those things and many more.  I just don't get to hear it.

I recall when Tom was a baby.  He wasn't making the strides that he should.  He was delayed in all his milestones.  I remember very distinctly the day out in the garden (I was standing in the driveway) when she said that she and Dad felt that we should see a specialist about Tom.  It had to be difficult for her to talk to me about it.  I was so relieved that someone had an idea of what to do.  I will forever be grateful for her gentle boldness in opening her mouth and speaking what I needed to hear. 

Yes, I am blessed with parents that had amazing testimonies of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and served so willingly.  I was blessed with their example of how a loving marital relationship should look like and feel.  I think I found it.  As much as I miss each of them at different times, I am glad that they are together again!

Life-changing Decisions

Just as our lives have gotten back to a normal pace and into our regular routine we get unwelcome news.  Pat's father has had some ear issues over the past year.  Just a few weeks ago it was discovered that he has grade 2 non-Hodgkins Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma.

 It is very treatable but there are other factors to consider. Pete is 80 years old and I don't know that he would tolerate chemo and radiation.  He could opt for just radiation which would knock this cancer down for one to three years but it would return. The other option is to do nothing which would give him about six months.

Pete also has the beginning of dementia. His older brother and sister both succumbed to this horrible disease. He  said he never wanted go through nor put his wife and family through Alzheimer's disease. Amazingly, Pete has been given a choice not to go through it.

We visited on Friday night with some of Pat's siblings.  We were told that Pete has decided that he isn't going to do anything.  He doesn't want to be sick.  He and Lolly have decided that they will take quality time over quantity.

It seems that all the sibling are supportive of this decision.  In fact, I believe that they all feel this is the right decision for their dad.

The best decisions aren't always the easy ones to make.  I pray for my father-in-law and Lolly to have strength and comfort.

I find it incredible that both Pat and I will lose our dads in such a short time.  Last night we had the evening session of stake conference. As my husband spoke about keeping our baptismal covenant I was very grateful with all who mourned with me as I went through the mourning process so recently.  I felt impressed that I need to do all I can to help Lolly through this process. It is my turn to mourn with those that mourn.

Small Things Mean So Much

Yesterday was Andrew's birthday.  I was feeling a bit sad that I wasn't going to be able to spend the day with him or even talk to him due to the fact that he is a missionary.  It was his first birthday away from home and my desire was that somehow it would be special.  Therefore, I prayed yesterday morning and I asked my Father in Heaven to somehow, some way have someone do something special for him.

Prayers are answered.  I was on Facebook and I got a private message from one of Sammi's former missionary companions.  She asked if she could doorbell ditch a birthday cake for Andrew.  I couldn't contain my emotions.  Tears streamed down my face as we chatted.  She was the answer to my humble prayer.  She said she knew how much a missionary needs to feel the love and she was willing to do that for my son even though she's never met him. 

I will forever be grateful for her listening to the Spirit as she was prompted to do this seemingly small thing.  I know prayers are answered.  I see it all the time but I never expected to know if this one was answered.  She sent me a picture of the balloons and birthday package on the front stoop of the home where Andrew lives.  Thank you Annie!  I will love you forever for doing something so small that means so much to me.

Happy 19th Andrew

  Today my baby boy is 19 years old! Wow! He's not a kid anymore.  I can't even begin to know where all those years went.  They went by so fast!  This is the first time he is not home for his special day and I'm missing him a little today.  I know he's doing what he is supposed to be doing but that doesn't mean my mother's heart can't ache a little today.  Enjoy the following photos of the silly, fun, crazy, accomplished man that I call my son.

Andrew qualifying for state high jump!

 Receiving his medal for qualifying for state.

 Placed 8th at state!  What a privilege to have been his coach.

 The most important thing in his life right now.

 My Pleshek missionaries.

 Yes, he is biking.

 He's an amazing brother and uncle.

My missionary with his stake president.

He was a basketball official too but much preferred playing.

 Basketball and more basketball.

 What a handsome man.

 A kite made in scouts.

 First buck kill!

 With President and Sister Moffat.

 His purpose in serving.

 Where he's serving.

The payoff in being a missionary. 

 Tuba player. 

 Only a brother could love sisters who bring home this cake.

 Eighth grade recognition.  He loved this suit!

 Buddies at youth conference.

Going swimming with friends while camping

 Brothers prior to baptism.

Our sweet 8 year old.  This was 11 years ago today.  Happy birthday my dear son!

September 12, 2014

Sanford K. Hoffman

30 Jan 1938 - 12 Sept 2014

I am blessed to be the daughter of this remarkable man!

I will miss his tender touch and his sparkling eyes.

I will miss his generosity and kindness.

When we look at a birth date and death date there is always a hyphen that separates them.  The two dates represent a beginning and ending of life. That hyphen represents an entire life!

 

What a life it has been!  There are the typical struggles of youth and of beginning a life with a new spouse.  And then of course the children!  My parents taught us the value of work and provided opportunities to do it. 

 

He was left without his sweetheart far too young.  It was a struggle to go on without her.  He loved so deeply and wanted to re-create that love with another.  It was more of a struggle than he anticipated and it never did work out. 

 

Heartache for all of us at watching him struggle and make choices that weren't appropriate.  Still we loved him dearly.  We encouraged and prayed.

 

New friends came into his life and new hobbies.  Riding motorcycle was probably the biggest change.  He loved it and enjoyed it often.  Because of his new friends, we made new friends too.  He didn't keep his friends to himself.  He shared.

 

A beautiful day in September three years ago brought us together for a wonderful cause.  Then last November Kurt and I had another cause to celebrate his spiritual life with him. At Christmas I asked if we could go to the temple together this year and he agreed.  Unfortunately, his illness prevented us from getting there.

 

A feeling of "unwellness" prevailed beginning in March.  Many trips to see physicians.  Possible answers but no one was able to help.  The headaches began the end of June.  Three weeks of headaches and exhaustion lead us to more doctor visits.  Ultimately the MRI showed a mass in the brain. 

 

Glioblastoma.

 

What an ugly word!

 

An even uglier disease with consequences that cannot be avoided.  This cancer would take my vital, active, hard-working daddy and turn him into a man who would be unable to do anything for himself.  He could not feed himself or sit up alone.  He needed assistance with everything.  It was heart-wrenching to witness.

 

There is a symptom time-line that we are watching.  Yes, he does that.  Yes, I've seen that and that.  Time moves forward and more and more symptoms appear.

 

Sunday, September 7th, the breathing is beginning to change.  There is an apnea of sorts that affects brain injured people called Cheyne-Stokes.  Dad's brain was injured due to the tumor.

 

Wednesday the 10th, he no longer is able to eat nor should he for fear of aspiration.  The Cheyne-Stokes breathing is par for the course at this point.

 

Thursday the 11th.  We gather as a family to give him one final blessing.  Kurt is voice.  He is told it is okay for him to leave us.  We will take care of one another.  We have grown closer because of this experience.  You have been a good father, teacher and an inspiration to us.  You will be welcomed by those who love you on the other side.

 

Friday at 3:30am, a phone call to tell us Dad's breathing has changed.  It won't be long.  We gather once again at his bedside and hold his hands, stroke his hair, massage his feet, kiss his face.  He is unaware that we are there but we tell him of our love.

 

7:15 brings about a slowing of his breathing.  I go and sit with him and watch him.  I asked if others have noticed the breathing and they confirm what I asked.  A few more minutes pass and again there is a pause in his breathing.  All gather and we watch as he takes his last breaths.  7:27 brings the end of his mortal life.  He is free from the headaches and the body that no longer allows him to function.  A body that has withered to skin and bones.

 

A beautiful, peaceful passing from one life to the next.  Tears flow.  We will miss him as we let him go.  Temple covenants bring peace to our hearts.  Happy tears fall as we think of the reunion with our mother.  He meets a brother he's never met.  He gets to see his father for the first time in 50 years. 

 

All is well!  Yes, all is well!

 

And we will miss him.

More and More

I love Tuesdays because that's when I hear from Andrew. Each week he is sounding more and more like a missionary who is immersed in the work and not missing home anymore. That makes my heart happy.  His emails are never very long which is what I totally expected from him.  I can't believe he's been out for an entire transfer already.  Time stands still for no one.  Anyway, I just want to say that I love my missionary son!